Now, because the blog exists as a means of accountability, I'm going to tell you the two reasons I didn't post sooner. First, we really were busier this week than we typically are. I know that's a generic excuse, but the blog didn't get top priority. Second, I've been angry about my weight loss over the past week. Remember that tenth of a pound I tried so hard to lose last week? Well, I finally lost it. NINE days later. AFTER I gained a few pounds. I could tell my body was angry with me about some choices I made, and I was angry right back at it.
Since I'm all about being real here, I'm going to be honest and tell you I struggled a lot this past week. I cried several times. One of those times was because I wanted pizza, so Husby said we could have pizza, and I cried and told him we shouldn't have pizza, so he decided to be strong and lead and decide we would make a better choice and eat some yummy leftovers we had at home, so I cried because I still wanted pizza. It was not one of my finer moments. I found myself relating to a blog post I read recently about toddler melt-downs, and I wasn't relating to the parents. I was relating to the toddler. Big time.
There were several times I had a STRONG temptation to pick up fast food. And not a healthy, responsible choice at a fast food restaurant. A fried one. Deep fried. Very deep. The main reason I didn't give into the temptations was because I couldn't decide what I wanted.
Monday the 11th marked two months that I've been at this, and I think I hit a wall. It was like I was walking around trying to break in new shoes that were giving me blisters, and all I wanted to do was put on my favorite, well-worn flip flops.
It wasn't that I wanted to go back to my old lifestyle necessarily. I was just tired of my new one. I wanted some kind of in between, and I knew that wouldn't work. I fought with myself a ton. I wish I had prayed more and asked the Holy Spirit to help me. But I didn't.
So we decided to take a break for a couple of days. Some of you may think that's a bad idea, and maybe it was, but it kept me from quitting. It kept me from abandoning everything I'm trying to do here. It kept me sane. It gave me an opportunity to eat Moe's for the first time in over six weeks.
Confession: These words actually came out of my mouth while I was eating Moe's. "My stomach started hurting a few minutes in, but I pushed through it." HA!
You probably know me well enough by now to know I'm not going to follow that confession up by telling you I regretted pushing through those stomach pains. I loved every bite of my lunch that day. QUESO!! Also, I only ate about 2/3 (if not less) of my lunch instead of finishing every last morsel of it. Baby steps, folks.
After taking a break, I've done a little better at staying on track. I've exercised twice over the last few days, versus only once last week. And I finally lost that tenth of a pound.
That brings me to my weigh-in. I lost .1 pound, bringing my total weight lost up to 30.0 pounds and my current weight down to 293.6 pounds. Woo hoo! It felt really good to reach that goal, even if it wasn't when I wanted to reach it. God is still good and faithful, and He gives good gifts - like taking nine days to lose a tenth of a pound. That was for my good and His glory. How do I know that? Because I believe all really means all: "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28 NASB).
Now it's time for comparison photos! I'm starting to tell a slight difference. At least now I can feel a major difference in my pants. After wearing my jeans for a couple of days, they start feeling like hammer pants. Guess I'll have to start washing them more often. (I promise I'm not gross.)
Side note: Please don't judge my photo editing skills by the comparison photos I post on this blog. :O)
Also, please forgive my greasy hair. It looks like I styled it with fried chicken. I showered soon after this photo was taken.
So, please tell me you've struggled before. Tell me you've hit a wall before and it gave you a bloody nose, but you persevered. I need to read those stories.
Thanks, friends!
You're doing great!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Erin!
DeleteGirl...I hit a wall...the past 2 weeks. I may have exercised once. I haven't counted calories. Only because I might have gained 1 lb have I not picked it all back up. I took my break too. You're doing great. Persevere girl...You can do it. There are those before you who can attest to it. I love ya'.
ReplyDeleteHeather
Heather, thank you! Your regular encouragement has helped me on this journey!
DeleteSo, about 2 months into my weight loss journey I was joking (sort of) with a friend about the fact that I think I'm going to be a comedian that makes viral YouTube videos called "Former Fat Girl's Take On..." My first installment of the video would be the 5 Emotional Stages of Weightloss. (Like the 5 Stages of Grief, sort of). They also correspond to the first 5 weeks of my weight loss journey, so there you go. Stage 1: Excitement--It's working. This program/plan/diet/cult is really working! The numbers are going down. The energy is going up. WHOOHOOO! Stage 2: Optimism--Maybe the numbers didn't drop quite as much the second week, but you know that it's still worth it. You've got goals to reach and a world to conquer. Those pounds are going to melt away. Secretly, you've visited the "regular sized" section at your favorite store and started picking out the outfits you'll be wearing by this time next year. Stage 3: Determination--You're going to grit your teeth and muscle through. You tell yourself that only the strong survive. That you're doing all of the things "the old you" was too lazy to do. You look around at the people who haven't noticed your weight loss yet, and think, "I'll show ALL Y'ALL what I'm made of." Stage 4: Anger--Dadgummit! You made a commitment. You're running the race. You're a freaking winner... and you're eating a wilty salad at McDonalds while a size 4 friend is talking about the 5 pounds she needs to lose before bathing suit season while eating a cheeseburger and fries! AAAAH! FRIES! Why can't fries be healthy? God made potatoes, didn't he! You go to the grocery store and storm through the aisles, buying whatevertheheck you want, and then get home and cry because you can't eat anything you purchased, because (daggumit again!) you made a commitment. Commitments are stupid anyway. Except for marriage. That one counts. Stage 5: Acceptance--You've stepped away from the ballistic missiles (and the french fries) and calmed down just a bit. You realize that this process isn't just physically draining, it's an emotional challenge too, that you are stronger for the struggle, that the commitment is worth honoring, and that food is just food. It doesn't have to control your emotions. You look at the scale and think, "You and me, pal. We're in this for the LONG HAUL. I'm not going anywhere, and you're going DOWN." You take a breath, eat a carrot, and get on with living your journey.
ReplyDeleteI don't even know you, I'm not sure how I even stumbled upon your blog except that probably a mutual friend of ours commented or something on Facebook maybe?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your blog and your love for Jesus. I started my weight loss--get fit--get healthy journey last fall. I've learned a LOT about the correct way to go about it, and have lost 30+ lb of body fat, and gained 15+ lb of muscle. While that's only about a 15 lb. difference on the scale, it's a huge change in inches, which really is what matters. Anyway, I've been in a funk over the past few months, sporadic with workouts, eating mostly what I want when I want to, just tired of constantly thinking about it. And it was really inspiring to read about your journey. If you're on Facebook, look up The Metabolic Effect and follow them, also follow LAQ Fitness (which helped me change my mind when I started out…she was soooo fantastic), Jill Fit…those three have been great resources--filling up my newsfeed with helpful tips, articles, etc…to keep me on the right track. Maybe that would be a help to you as well? I ready Metabolic Effect which helped me to understand the way that chemicals in my body help/hinder fat loss (and even understanding fat loss vs weight loss was revolutionary for me). I know you're going great, and you've got a good system, but I wanted to encourage you with some things that were helpful to me, as we are pretty much in the same boat. =)
And, I think you're in Gville area (right? Seriously, I'm not sure…I just wish I knew who we know as a mutual friend…), anyway, my gym I go to, Pivotal Fitness in Taylors, has a member/non-member challenge. I'd love it if you wanted to do it with me sometime. It's on the ladies side of the gym (for the most part) and is only women competing usually. I've done it a few times, and won a few times (win = 6 mo. membership per person), and I'm looking for the motivation and accountability to jump back into it after the holidays.
Anyway, good job. Keep at it. Every meal is a chance to make a good decision!! Here's to good decisions and the power of the Spirit to do just that!!! =)
I love you and I'm so incredibly proud of you Rachelle! You're one of my favorites :) Keep it up! (And smart decision with the break. Next CG if you want me to bore you about plateaus and how normal they are let me know!!!)
ReplyDelete