God Taught Me to Value What I Was Being Taught

I've been a church goer my whole life, even before I professed my faith in Christ. As long as I can remember, I have had a genuine love for church, though that love may look a little different now than it did while I was growing up. 

Now, I love corporate worship primarily because of the opportunity to sit under good teaching and to connect with God during the singing. 

Then, I loved corporate worship primarily for the singing (yes, they were hymns; our youth group jammed to Pass It On) and because I got to hang out with my best buddies. 

I had a really cute notebook I took to church with me. It was kind of a teal green color, and it was really a book cover for spiral notebooks. So, when I filled up a spiral notebook, I could replace it and still have the cute teal cover. Brilliant!

I started taking the notebook to church after I was shushed a few too many times while ripping open offering envelopes to write notes to my friends. Ah, yes, as you may have suspected, my cute notebook wasn't for TAKING notes during the sermon; it was for PASSING notes during the sermon. 

I would ask you not to tell on me, but the note passing would not surprise a soul. I will NEVER forget the time my pastor pulled me aside and talked to me about my behavior during church. It turns out my talking with my friend in the balcony (you know who you are! Haha!) and passing notes distracted him when he preached. MORTIFIED! I felt awful. And I was embarrassed. Now I'm reliving it. Oh my. I'm so thankful he was kind, gentle, and gracious when he spoke to me. 

He reminds me of how the Lord deals with me. 

Fast forward to my college days at North Greenville. I don't remember the exact moment I started taking notes during sermons, but there was a definite transition from passing notes to taking notes. Lots and lots of notes. I have filled numerous notebooks over the years taking notes during sermons. 

And I paid more attention to what was being taught. 

Through the process of taking notes, God taught me to value what I was being taught. 

This wasn't an overnight process. It took years. Sanctification often looks like that - very gradual, lasting change.

I want that for my physical health. Just like I went from passing notes to taking notes, I want to go from apathy regarding my body to viewing my body and my physical health the way God does.

I want God to teach me to value my body and my health. He created my body, knit me together in my mama's womb (Psalm 139:13). His Spirit dwells within me (Romans 8:9-11)! Both of those things AMAZE me. 

So ...

Why did I start this journey at 323.6 pounds?

Simple. 

My cognitive beliefs and my functional beliefs do not line up in this area. 

So I need Jesus! I need the grace of God. Just like He so graciously worked in my life over the course of a decade to teach me to value what I was being taught, I believe He will take the next several years (yes, years!) to teach me to value the one and only body He gave me because He made it and dwells in it. 

I'm looking forward to all He has to teach me! I'll be ready with my notebook!

Oh, by the way, don't be surprised if you try to pass me a note during church and I give you the stink eye. It's because I know it doesn't take much for me to regress to teenage Rachelle. :0)

Week 14 Weigh-In

Hi, everyone! I'm sorry I didn't post last week. I've been in a bit of a funk regarding this whole weight loss thing.

The funk isn't just about not wanting to exercise or wanting to be able to eat pizza every day (seriously, I would) or having a deep love for deep fried appetizers and mini candy bars. This funk is really about me being a bratty Christian, one who is reckless with grace.

That reality struck me yesterday as I cleaned off a pile of candy wrappers from my nightstand.

"God, thank You for Jesus. Can I eat all the candy bars I want, too?"

"God, thank You for being enough, and I know You're enough, but could I have more pizza?"

"Jesus, I know You gave your life away for me, but I don't want to get out of bed and exercise."

"God, this surely can't be what You meant by an abundant life, right? I mean, an abundant life would include a lot more fast food. In my humble opinion."

I had a particularly bratty moment when I didn't get what I wanted one day. "James said we would be blessed in the doing! I don't feel very blessed in the doing right now!" (See James 1:25.)

You see, I knew in the moment that I was misappropriating God's Word for my circumstances, but I didn't care.

Reckless.

I know the sacrifice God made in giving us His Son. I know the sacrifices Jesus made for me. I know the grace upon grace He gives - and that He gives MORE grace (James 4:6).

But I stomp my feet and throw fits (sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively) and demand what I want. Every time, I'm telling Jesus He isn't enough. Every time, I'm telling Him my way is better. Every time, I'm telling Him He doesn't know what He's doing with my life.

Reckless.

But.

Here's the beautiful, glorious, gracious truth:

He loves me anyway.

He won't stop loving me.

When He looks at me, He sees Jesus, and He loves me.

He knows I'm broken, and He offers healing.

He knows what I want, and He offers me better things.

He offers forgiveness through Christ when I sin, even when I'm really bratty about it.

The same is true for you, believers, and can be true for those of you who don't believe if you place your trust in Christ.

This doesn't mean God won't discipline me or allow me to go through trials. He has, does, and will continue doing so. And I'm thankful for His discipline! I'm thankful for the trials! They're making me more like Christ. As evidenced by my regular foot stomping (and not in the cool, Irish dancing kind of way), I still have a long, long way to go. I'm thankful the Holy Spirit is taking me down that journey, one step at a time.

I've been pondering some of the ways I can tell God has been working in me over the last 3 months (yes! 3 months!), and I thought I'd share them with you (though small they may be):

• My typical school routine included purchasing fast food for breakfast during my commute. Often, it was Sonic. When I went to Sonic, I purchased at least a large, sometimes a Route 44, Diet Dr. Pepper with vanilla, and I slurped it as I rode the elevator to my class on the second floor of the school building. For at least the last two months of school, I took the stairs on my way to class, and I haven't had a soda in 3 months. God is gracious!
• We participated in a scavenger hunt a couple of weeks ago. MANY trips up and down the stairs and all over the church building were involved - with 10 children - 8 of which were BOYS. Three months ago, I don't think I would have made it past the first couple of clues, but I stuck it out for the entire scavenger hunt. God is gracious!
• A few days ago, we helped a friend move out of her second story apartment. Three months ago, I don't know if I would have been able to help, especially with the constant trips up and down the stairs. But I did it! God is gracious!
• Three months ago, I rarely went to the grocery store, and I had grown very slack about meal planning. While acknowledging I still have a LONG way to go in this area, I've seen definite improvements. God is gracious!
• I used to make multiple trips to QT for snacks during the week (there is a QT close to school). Now, I don't remember the last time I purchased something to eat there. God is gracious!
• It had been YEARS since I exercised regularly, and exercising has become a priority for me (most weeks!). God is gracious!
• I lost 1.5 pounds since my last post, bringing my total weight lost up to 38.3 pounds and my current weight down to 285.3 pounds. God is gracious!

So, what about you? Is there an area in your life where you stomp your feet and insist your way is better than God's way? For me, it's food. For you, it could be something completely different. Maybe you won't submit your finances to God. Maybe you've sensed God calling you to change jobs or to move into a neighborhood you don't like. Maybe God has been nudging you to go on a mission trip to meet the needs of others and share the Gospel with them. Maybe He wants you to watch less TV and spend more time in His Word and prayer. Maybe there's a relationship in your life that needs mending. I could go on, but I bet I don't need to. You know what it is without me providing more possibilities.

What's stopping you? 

Christmas is a week from today. God has already given you the greatest gift EVER - His Son, Jesus, God with us. What's He asking you to give to Him? I bet you won't even have to wrap it. :O)

Week 12 Weigh-In

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We enjoyed time with part of our family, and we're looking forward to seeing everyone else over Christmas. 

My eating has been all over the place. I have the munchies non-stop. Thankfully, I've kept up with exercising. 

I lost 2.9 pounds, bringing my total weight loss up to 36.8 pounds and my current weight down to 286.8 pounds. Considering the munchies ... and the Japanese food ... and the Chili's ... and the two trips to CiCi's pizza ... good grief, I'm pleased!

Now I need to get back on track for real! I have a goal for the end of the year, and I want to reach it!

Week 11

"The nice thing is we've lost weight, so we take up less room in the bed," said Joseph with a hint of optimism and a dash of sarcasm. The bed he referred to is the full size bed we share at my grandmother's house. We're used to our plush king size bed at home. First world problems. 

We've been at my grandmother's house for a whopping 3, maybe 4, hours, and my jeans already feel tighter. My resolve is slipping. My scale is scared. 

"Home" does that to me. 

It conjures up emotions I've stuffed down with enough fast food and processed pastries to fill out a pair of size 26 jeans with no room to spare. 

"Home" triggers my food reflex faster than anything/anywhere/anyone else. Because I conditioned it to. 

"Home" wasn't always a place I wanted to escape to. More often, it was a place I wanted to escape from. And I did. As quickly as I could. I had to return home to graduate high school, because I had already left town. 

When I couldn't escape physically, I escaped mentally and emotionally, often with a bag of marshmallows or a bowl of ice cream or a roll of cookie dough. Or all three. I zoned out in a dark room, illuminated only by the flicker of the television, and I ate until I was numb. 

As soon as my car reaches Horry County, I'm hungry. 

My grandmother's kitchen beckons me all hours of the day and night. The later in the evening, the louder the siren song grows. 

Tonight is no different. I hear the kitchen calling for me. I already answered it once, eating half a chocolate chip cookie. I only stopped because the cookie was really gross. 

So, tonight, I'm trying something new. I'm praying, and I'm reminding myself of things I know to be true:

God is good.

 

God is wise.

 

God is kind.

 

God is faithful.

 

When no one else wanted me, God adopted me into His family. Because of Jesus, God is my daddy, and I'm His little girl. I am a co-heir with Christ. 

When God looks at me, He sees Jesus. 

Because I placed my trust in Jesus, God sees me not only as though I never sinned but as though I always lived right. Because Jesus paid the price for me. 

The satisfaction of food is fleeting. God is eternal.

The imperfect homes I've had and will continue to have on earth are temporary. I have a perfect home waiting for me in Heaven, and it's eternal, and it's with Jesus!

God loves me because I am His and because of Jesus. He doesn't merely tolerate me. He doesn't love me in spite of my flaws, my failures, my FAT; He just loves me. 

I didn't deserve the grace God extended to me through Jesus, and I need to stop making other people earn grace from me. 

I have been forgiven much, and there is joy in forgiving much. And freedom. 

I can have marshmallows and ice cream and cookie dough and the other things I didn't mention eating. In moderation. And with pure motives. 

I don't need food to cope or to medicate or mask my emotions. I just need Jesus, and He is even more available than convenience food. 

There will be numerous disappointments in this life, but Jesus isn't one of them. 

Food that is seasoned with guilt never tastes as good. 

I probably should have gone to counseling, but I can't change that. I can confide in the Wonderful Counselor anytime and any place. And He won't charge me, because the bill has already been paid. 

There are many other truths worth rejoicing in. What truths do you preach to yourself when you face temptation or when you need strength or encouragement?

I'm skipping my weigh-in this week, but I'll weigh in next Wednesday. Happy Thanksgiving!

Week 10 Weigh-In

Hi, everyone! Since I posted a lengthy update a few days ago, I thought I would keep this one somewhat brief. I'm typing on my phone to hold myself to that. :0)

First, Joseph and I are extremely excited! We're going on a mission trip to Monterrey, Mexico in June. We'll be working with an orphanage. As we know more, I'll share with you. Sadly, if I hadn't started losing weight, I probably would have ignored God's call to go. I just couldn't imagine being able to do it physically. I don't even know if I would have been able to fit in a seat on the plane. But, I'm now well on my way to being able to fit in a seat and to be able to endure physically what we're asked to do. 

We've decided to use our weight loss journey to raise money for our trip (we need $3400 total). You may recall that we give each other $10 when we lose 10 pounds. We've had a few people offer to match that as encouragement for us. We're extending that opportunity to all of you. If you'd like to pledge $10 for my next 10 pounds (or Joseph's or both), let me know. You can pledge for one round of 10 pounds or for every time I/we reach a 10 pound milestone. We'll be raising money through May, so you can jump in at any time. I think this would be a fun way for you to partner with us on our trip. 

Second, I weighed in today. I lost 3.9 pounds, bringing my total weight loss up to 33.9 pounds and my current weight down to 289.7 pounds. God is so good and faithful! I'm happy to report that He has helped me lose 10% of my starting weight. It feels so good to reach that milestone! Once I reach my goal weight, I will have lost 58% of my starting weight, so I only need to do what I've already done about 5 more times. That's not too bad! Right? Haha!

Thanks again for your support and encouragement. I really appreciate you!

Week 9 Weigh-In

First, let me say I'm really touched that at least one person realized I hadn't posted yet this week. That means at least one person knows I normally post on Wednesdays! That makes me happy, because I'm really honored that any of you read any of my posts.

Now, because the blog exists as a means of accountability, I'm going to tell you the two reasons I didn't post sooner. First, we really were busier this week than we typically are. I know that's a generic excuse, but the blog didn't get top priority. Second, I've been angry about my weight loss over the past week. Remember that tenth of a pound I tried so hard to lose last week? Well, I finally lost it. NINE days later. AFTER I gained a few pounds. I could tell my body was angry with me about some choices I made, and I was angry right back at it.

Since I'm all about being real here, I'm going to be honest and tell you I struggled a lot this past week.  I cried several times. One of those times was because I wanted pizza, so Husby said we could have pizza, and I cried and told him we shouldn't have pizza, so he decided to be strong and lead and decide we would make a better choice and eat some yummy leftovers we had at home, so I cried because I still wanted pizza. It was not one of my finer moments. I found myself relating to a blog post I read recently about toddler melt-downs, and I wasn't relating to the parents. I was relating to the toddler. Big time.

There were several times I had a STRONG temptation to pick up fast food. And not a healthy, responsible choice at a fast food restaurant. A fried one. Deep fried. Very deep. The main reason I didn't give into the temptations was because I couldn't decide what I wanted.

Monday the 11th marked two months that I've been at this, and I think I hit a wall. It was like I was walking around trying to break in new shoes that were giving me blisters, and all I wanted to do was put on my favorite, well-worn flip flops.

It wasn't that I wanted to go back to my old lifestyle necessarily. I was just tired of my new one. I wanted some kind of in between, and I knew that wouldn't work. I fought with myself a ton. I wish I had prayed more and asked the Holy Spirit to help me. But I didn't.

So we decided to take a break for a couple of days. Some of you may think that's a bad idea, and maybe it was, but it kept me from quitting. It kept me from abandoning everything I'm trying to do here. It kept me sane. It gave me an opportunity to eat Moe's for the first time in over six weeks.

Confession: These words actually came out of my mouth while I was eating Moe's. "My stomach started hurting a few minutes in, but I pushed through it." HA!

You probably know me well enough by now to know I'm not going to follow that confession up by telling you I regretted pushing through those stomach pains. I loved every bite of my lunch that day. QUESO!! Also, I only ate about 2/3 (if not less) of my lunch instead of finishing every last morsel of it. Baby steps, folks.

After taking a break, I've done a little better at staying on track. I've exercised twice over the last few days, versus only once last week. And I finally lost that tenth of a pound.

That brings me to my weigh-in. I lost .1 pound, bringing my total weight lost up to 30.0 pounds and my current weight down to 293.6 pounds. Woo hoo! It felt really good to reach that goal, even if it wasn't when I wanted to reach it. God is still good and faithful, and He gives good gifts - like taking nine days to lose a tenth of a pound. That was for my good and His glory. How do I know that? Because I believe all really means all: "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28 NASB).

Now it's time for comparison photos! I'm starting to tell a slight difference. At least now I can feel a major difference in my pants. After wearing my jeans for a couple of days, they start feeling like hammer pants. Guess I'll have to start washing them more often. (I promise I'm not gross.)

Side note: Please don't judge my photo editing skills by the comparison photos I post on this blog. :O)

Also, please forgive my greasy hair. It looks like I styled it with fried chicken. I showered soon after this photo was taken.

So, please tell me you've struggled before. Tell me you've hit a wall before and it gave you a bloody nose, but you persevered. I need to read those stories.

Thanks, friends!

Week 8 Weigh-In

True story: I weighed in this morning and then spent the next 8 hours trying to lose a tenth of a pound. I tried desperately to have just enough "in" to motivate the "out". It's a delicate balance when one is trying to lose a tenth of a pound. Then I ate too many grapes, and the scale went up. Boo. 

All day long I obsessed over something I thought I could control, something I thought I could will into reality. I even hoped the blood I had drawn today weighed a tenth of a pound. I weighed as soon as I got home. The scale didn't budge. 

When I looked back over those 8 hours, my main accomplishments were reading 23% of The Hunger Games and scrolling through Pinterest. Obsessing over losing a tenth of a pound had cost me almost an entire day. 

Losing weight is more about me growing closer to the Lord than about the numbers on the scale shrinking. Today did not reflect that. Today reflected my monster want to achieve a weight loss goal. 

Today was evidence of why I needed God to draw me to Him and save me through Jesus. I am way too self-absorbed ever to recognize my need for Him. The Holy Spirit had to get my attention today. It's likely if I had succeeded in losing that tenth of a pound, I would have carried on in my self-centered frame of mind. Instead, the Holy Spirit reminded me that this is about Him and not about me. 

This is the part where I should tell you my heart is filled with joy and overflowing with thanksgiving because it doesn't matter that I didn't lose that tenth of a pound because Jesus is sweeter than the numbers on that scale. I choose not to lie on this blog. 

I KNOW that Jesus is sweeter, and I pray that day by day I will live my life like I know that. Today hasn't been one of those days. Instead, it's been a day that has reminded me how much I need the Holy Spirit to help me walk in step with Him. For that, I am truly thankful.

So, for those of you who are curious, I lost 5.4 pounds this week (proving I was indeed retaining water last week), bringing my total weight loss up to 29.9 pounds and my current weight down to 293.7 pounds. I really am thankful for the progress God has made and will continue to make in me. 

Thank you for your continued support. I really appreciate you! Oh! Thank you for praying when I told you I was discouraged about not seeing results. I'm starting to see them now, especially in my pants. I can pull my jeans off without unbuttoning them. Woo hoo!

Healthier Eating Saves Money

What I'm about to write isn't going to be perfect, and the calculations aren't going to be to the penny. The information was still eye opening for me, and I hope it will be for you as well.

After the first few weeks of changes in our eating habits, I had a gut feeling we were saving money on food expenses. I didn't have exact numbers to compare, but I knew it had to be true. We weren't eating out as much, and our groceries were lasting longer because of portion control. I remember reading a statement by Angela Coffman over at Grocery Shrink one time that convicted me: If you're obese, you're spending too much on groceries (my paraphrase). Ouch. (If you need help trimming your grocery budget, Angela has wonderful ideas. Check out her blog.)

I made chicken tortilla soup one night a couple of weeks ago, and I started thinking about the cost of food. A crock pot of chicken tortilla soup costs us about $10 to make. Traditionally, Joseph and I have eaten the entire batch of soup over the course of two meals, maybe three if we really made it stretch. So that's anywhere from $3.50-$5.00 per meal. When I was calculating the calories for the soup, we determined that the batch is actually 10 servings, so about $1.00 per serving or $2.00 per meal if we each only eat one serving. That's a savings of up to $3.00 per meal, and it lasts up to 5 meals rather than just 2 or 3.

The chicken tortilla soup is just one example. Another food item where we've really noticed a difference is shredded cheese. It took us no time at all to go through a bag of shredded cheese before. Now that we're measuring it, we're amazed by how long it lasts. I could go on and on with examples, but you get the point.

For us, an area of significant savings has been eating out/convenience food (we included grabbing a snack at a gas station in this category). During the 30 days prior to us starting this journey to a healthier lifestyle, we spent approximately $700 eating out or grabbing convenience food (I think sharing that number with you was harder than telling you I weighed over 300 pounds). In the month of October, that number dropped to approximately $300 (even the number of food transactions for the month, including groceries, dropped from 75 to 42). Yes, that number is still high, and we need to reign that in. Yes, some of that savings went into buying groceries, which can be more expensive when purchasing healthy food, and we need to reign that in as well. We were just excited (in a still kind of embarrassed way) that we cut our spending by about $400 in this category. Maybe I'll report back once we're doing even better.

So, all of this to say, a big part of this journey is about stewardship for us. We want to be good stewards of our bodies so we can serve the Lord better and longer in this life. A bonus has been that we're stewarding our money better as well. And hopefully we'll become better and better stewards of that money with God's help.

Has God helped you in this area or in another area that needed self-control? Maybe you're still, like us, walking with the Holy Spirit as He sanctifies you in an area. I'd love to hear your stories.

I'd also love to hear any advice you may have for trimming down the grocery budget. Like I said, Grocery Shrink is a great resource. I just need to put her advice into practice. :O)

Quinoa Stuffed Peppers Recipe

Hi, everyone! Joseph and I loved this dish so much the first time I made it that I thought I'd try it again and post the recipe. We were not disappointed the second time!

The inspiration for this recipe came from Brooke's recipe for stuffed bell peppers over at Cooked by Brooke. Check out her site!

I knew I wanted to make the recipe with quinoa, so I tweaked it a bit and made it my own. I hope you enjoy it!

Ingredients

• 1lb ground meat of your choice (We use ground turkey, which is not pictured, because ground turkey in a plastic baggie isn't exactly photogenic.)
• 1 cup uncooked quinoa, which you will prepare according to the instructions on the package
• 1 cup black beans (We cook a couple of bags of dried black beans at a time in the crockpot and then freeze them to avoid the sodium.)
• 1 cup corn (I used frozen, because it's cheaper and doesn't contain sodium.)
• 1/3 cup reduced fat Mexican blend cheese (or cheese of your choice)
• 1 can diced tomatoes with green chilies, drained
• 6 bell peppers (I use green peppers because they're much cheaper than the pretty red and yellow ones.)
• 1-2 Tbsp taco seasoning (We make our own using this recipe.)

Note: Feel free to use rice instead of quinoa. I'm sure it would be delicious!

Rinse your peppers and lop of the tops of them, scooping out as much of the insides as possible. I didn't worry too much about getting out all of the seeds, because they come out during the boiling process.

Now it's time to multi-task. If you're not awesome at multi-tasking in the kitchen, you're in good company (mine). Because the final step of this recipe involves cooking the stuffed peppers in the oven, you don't have to worry too much if something gets cold. So dance it out for a minute and go for it.

You need to boil the peppers until they're tender. I did three at a time for 5 minutes, so a total of 10 minutes of pepper boiling.

You also need to cook the quinoa according to the package instructions. I did not add any extra seasoning or butter or anything to the quinoa, but you may enjoy that. If you do, let me know.

Meanwhile, you also need to brown your meat with the taco seasoning. If you use a skillet that's big enough to hold all the stuffing later, you (or your beloved) won't have to wash another dish. :O)

When you're just a few minutes shy of everything being done, preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Once everything is finished, you need to mix the quinoa, seasoned meat, corn, black beans, and tomatoes together. Again, I do all of this in the skillet I used to brown the meat.

Once everything is combined well, stuff your peppers, which should fit nicely in a 9x13 baking dish (at least I think that's a 9x13 ...). Then sprinkle a little cheese on top if that's your thing. I may start leaving off the cheese. I don't think I'll miss it, and my hips will probably thank me for it. If you have extra stuffing, just put it in the dish around the peppers.

Now put the peppers into your preheated oven and bake them for 10 minutes or so, depending on how "done" your like your food. Husby and I disagree on what qualifies food as "done". I usually win, because he loves me.

Once you take your peppers out of the oven, photograph them on pretty plates. Just kidding. You don't have to do that part. You'll be hungry because they smell so good, so just eat them.

Week 7 Weigh-In

I'm experimenting with the Blogger app. I hope this goes well!

This will be a very short, sweet, and to the point update. 

I lost 1.9 pounds this past week, bringing my total lost up to 24.5 pounds and my weight down to 299.1. I'm under 300 pounds, and that feels amazing! I'm so thankful God has brought me this far in a relatively short amount of time. 

He's teaching me a lot right now, especially about priorities, where I focus my time, energy, thoughts, and money. I'll share as I learn more!

Thank you for reading, praying, and encouraging. I appreciate you!

Week 6 Weigh-In

Hi, everyone! Thanks for stopping by to check on my progress. The time you take to read my posts means so much to me, and your encouragement is part of what keeps me motivated. So, thank you so much!

Some of the highlights from this past week were buying pumpkins with Husby, enjoying pumpkin ice cream afterward, photographing the In the Round Concert, and celebrating Crystal's birthday. I was able to do all of those fun things and stay within my calories each day. Week by week, I'm learning that I can lead a healthier lifestyle and still fit in things I enjoy.

Eating better and exercising is having all sorts of benefits: I'm losing weight, we're saving money (I plan on posting about that at some point), and I clap so much better at church. Seriously, all that clapping while doing aerobics is really paying off!

We're still measuring everything so we can ensure we're eating the proper portions. To make that a little easier, I purchased multiple sets of measuring spoons and cups that can nest within one another. Then I hung them on the back of a cabinet door using hooks I purchased from Dollar Tree. (The measuring spoons and cups came from the dollar section of Walmart.) Having multiple sets means we're less likely to skip measuring because the utensils we need are dirty.

I made quinoa stuffed bell peppers last night. They were so delicious! Maybe I'll post the recipe one day. Would you all enjoy it if I post a recipe from time to time?

I lost 3.8 pounds this week, bringing my total weight lost up to 22.6 pounds and my current weight down to 301.0 pounds. Yay! I'm so thankful for the progress the Lord has enabled me to make. My goal for next week is to be under 300 pounds. I'm really looking forward to that!

It's time for another set of comparison photos. Again, I can't tell a big difference. I think it's a mental hangup I have. This is going to sound weird, but entertain me a little. When the average person loses 20 pounds, it's very obvious. That loss of 20 pounds may even bring that person down to a healthy weight. Because of that, when I look in the mirror, or when I put on my clothes, I expect bigger results. Then I have to remind myself that I have a long journey ahead. Losing 22.6 pounds is great! I'm really excited about my progress, and I'm so thankful for the Lord's help. I just have to keep in mind that this is just the beginning.

So, I say all of that to ask you to pray for me as you look at these comparison photos and maybe if you think of me after you've read this post. Pray that even when I feel discouraged, I'll lean into the Lord and trust Him to lead me through the rest of this journey. Because it really is a journey I want to take.

When Husby and I went to Sam's the other day, I posed with 20 pounds of sugar to illustrate the 20 pounds I had lost (I knew on Saturday that I had reached 20 pounds). I'm a weakling, so they were heavy! It was good for me to hold 20 pounds and remember that I was just carrying that much extra weight all the time. 

I'd like to end my post today with something for you to ponder. Last night, I purchased mini cupcakes for the ladies in my Bible study group to enjoy and to celebrate Crystal's birthday. We had a dozen extra, so I sent them with Husby to his group. As we were heading home, I asked Husby if his group ate all of the cupcakes. He said they only ate a few of them. "Then where are the cupcakes?" I asked. I really wanted them! He told me that one of the guys in his group took them home after saying something to the effect of, "Joseph, I know you're trying hard to lose weight, and I know these cupcakes will be a temptation for you. I want to remove that temptation from you. I'll take them to work, so know they'll be eaten."

Honestly, at first, I was disappointed. Like I said, I wanted those cupcakes! Then I was really thankful. The man was right. We didn't need the temptation of those cupcakes. I appreciate that he was willing to remove the temptation.

Do you have people who do things like that for you? Do you help others by removing temptations for them? It doesn't have to be about food. There are a million other things in this world that tempt us. I challenge you to think about that today, and then I challenge you to ask God to show you how you can love your neighbor by removing a temptation for him/her. To go a step further from an idea in my Bible study this week, it's likely you're either tempting someone to sin, or you're helping someone resist temptation. It's unlikely you're completely neutral. Which side are you going to be on this week?

My DTR with Fast Food

Dear Fast Food,

     You and I have spent many, many years getting to know one another. You know right when to call: when I'm busy, bored, sad, happy, celebrating, driving down the road, sitting on the couch, on my way to school, on my way home from school, on my way to church, on my way home from church. Let's just suffice it to say, you've got my number on speed dial.

     You know what I like: deep fried, greasy, cheesy, ooey, gooey, yummy, fast, convenient. And you usually give it to me, except at some of your establishments during their final hour of the day. But I've never held that against you.

     You've been a strong leader in my life. You led me to impulse eating. You led me to the mall to purchase clothing of a larger size. You led me to the doctor for blood pressure medication.

     You've been a constant friend and companion. Often, we've started our day together with breakfast in bed and ended our day together with a late night foodie call.

     Now, it's time I determine the relationship I have with you, and this DTR is long overdue.
   
     I will no longer answer to your beck and call. We will no longer see each other on a daily basis. Instead, we will be mere acquaintances, seeing each other only when absolutely necessary.

     You are being replaced in my life by Someone Who values me more than a super sized meal. He will care for me longer than it takes to order chicken tenders and a sweet tea in the drive-thru at lunchtime.

     So you can remove my number from your speed dial. You can prepare yourself for the sting of rejection when you tempt me. You are no longer my master.

Sincerely,
ChubbyChelle (For Now)

Week 5 Weigh-In

Overall, this past week has been pretty good. It included Fall for Greenville and a very quick trip to my hometown and back.

Fall for Greenville went better than I anticipated. I made sure to exercise that afternoon, and I knew how many calories I had left for the day when we arrived. I enjoyed lobster mac and cheese from 21 East, pimento cheeseburger sliders from, um, I'm totally blanking now, and a melt-in-your-mouth-oh-so-good mini pumpkin spice cupcake from The Chocolate Moose. I must have another one of those cupcakes before fall is over! I was pleased that I was able to enjoy the evening with Husby and still finish the day within my allotted calories.

During our quick trip to my hometown, we both faced a very strong temptation for real Chick-fil-a food, meaning salads weren't going to cut it. We calculated the calories and determined we could splurge. I ordered chicken tenders and fries (at least I didn't order a soda, too!). As soon as we drove away, I had Drive-Thru Remorse. I was going to call it DTR, and then I remembered DTR is already taken, which inspired me to write a post that will be coming soon: My DTR with Fast Food.

I lost 3.5 pounds this week, bringing my total weight lost up to 18.8 pounds and my current weight down to 304.8. Woo hoo! God is such a sweety! Being a tenth of a pound away from 10% of my total goal is pretty cool. Oh, that reminds me. I keep forgetting to mention that my weekly goal is 1% of my total weight. So far, I think I've met that goal each week.

During my Bible study today, God brought to my mind Romans 8:26-27: "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."

In those moments when I'm feeling weak, when I want to do everything and anything but obey the Lord, the Holy Spirit is interceding for me. When I don't know what to pray because temptation is so strong, the Holy Spirit is praying for me according to God's will. That's a beautiful, powerful thing, and I'm convinced it's why I'm still on this journey after five weeks (about the time I would normally throw in the towel). There have been numerous times when I have stuck to our eating plan or exercised when I didn't feel like it, and I know it was the power of the Holy Spirit at work in me. I'm so grateful for Him!

Week 4 Weigh In

This week in review:

• Drinking water is becoming more consistent. I think I've been in the 6-8 glasses range most days this past week. Once I'm at 8 glasses a day consistently, I'm going to increase my daily goal.
• We were fairly busy this past week, including shooting a wedding on Saturday, so I think I only exercised 5 days. I'm not complaining about 5 out 7 days, but I actually kind of missed it on the days I didn't exercise. That is evidence of the Holy Spirit's work in my life, because this girl has no motivation to exercise in and of herself. Also, shooting weddings should be in the exercise category of MyFitnessPal. I was pooped when it was over!
• Shooting a wedding reminded me of one of the big reasons I want to lose weight. Being on my feet for the majority of 9 hours was painful for me. Over 300 pounds of weight on my feet is more than my body was designed for, and I'm looking forward to the day when I have a healthy amount of weight on my feet. I'm sure my feet are looking forward to that day as well. Poor things. Bless their hearts. Let's move on.
• Oh, speaking of the wedding, I think you'll laugh when I tell you one of the items that was on the buffet: buffalo chicken dip! Seriously. I have never been to a wedding that served buffalo chicken dip. I had to laugh, because, as you know if you've been reading my blog, buffalo chicken dip is my one true weakness. I'm proud to report that I ate it. Ha! I think you thought I was going to tell you I had a noble moment where I resisted temptation. I didn't. I ate it. It was delicious.
• Did I mention I shot a wedding Saturday? The wedding was for friends of ours, so they made sure we were able to eat (planning a wedding? make sure your photographers can eat). I thought I was doing really well. OK. Honestly, I thought I was doing sort of well. When I guesstimated and entered everything into MFP, I was shocked! I consumed over 1200 calories at that wedding, and I thought I was being fairly good. I didn't go back for seconds. I didn't go hog wild and eat everything in sight. And it was still over 1200 calories. That experience was very eye opening for me. I'm glad I took the time to log everything.
• While I was logging everything from the wedding, Joseph was VERY amused. With each item I remembered eating, as I watched the total calories increase, I grew more and more exasperated ... and more and more animated. Finally, I shouted out, "I ATE THREE GRAPES!!" To which Joseph replied, in his best female actress in Steel Magnolias voice, "Oh, lordie!" I had to laugh. I'm thankful he keeps me grounded.
• I lost 3.7 pounds this week, bringing my total weight lost up to 15.3 pounds and my current weight down to 308.3. Being under 300 pounds is getting closer and closer, and it feels great! The Lord has been very gracious to me.

One of the things that came up in my Bible study this past week is moving beyond conviction to action. That topic resonated with me. Doing something about my laziness and poor eating habits has been a source of conviction many, many times, but I've rarely taken any action to change. James, the brother of Christ, talked about being a hearer only of the Word and not a doer. He said not taking action is like looking intently into a mirror and walking away and forgetting what you look like (James 1:22-24). At many points in my life, I've done that literally. I have stared at myself in a mirror, pinching and jiggling fat, feeling convicted about my weight. Then I walked away and didn't do anything. I forgot what I saw in the mirror. I forgot the conviction I felt. I forgot what the Lord was doing in my heart, and I stuffed myself with whatever tasty food I was craving at the moment. I was a hearer of the Word and not a doer. 

I don't want that to be true of my life any more. I want to be a doer of the Word. Even in this area of sin in my life, one that has been a stronghold for probably 25 years. I know that's going to take walking in step with the Spirit so I don't gratify the desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:16). For me, that is going to be a second by second walking in step with the Spirit. I'm so thankful He's there to walk with me and to enable me to make the right choices, to do the good things God has called me to (Philippians 2:13).

Week 3 Weigh In

Just a quick update this week:

• I exercised 6 days this past week. I've tried walking outside twice, and it feels like the calf muscle on my right leg is being ripped from the bone. I don't like that. The Walk Away the Pounds videos are still my go to workout.
• I'm doing a little better with water, but there is still room for improvement. Thank you for the helpful suggestions!
• I'm relearning the saying "Failure to plan is planning to fail." When we have a good plan, we're much more successful. The days we don't have a plan, it's much easier to give in to temptation.
• Speaking of temptation, it has been fierce this past week! I haven't always fled from it either. Chips were consumed in a Mexican restaurant. There may or may not have been some queso involved. 
• I'm also relearning that when I give in to temptation once, it gets easier and easier to give in to temptation again. 
• I lost 3.5 pounds this week, bringing my total weight lost up to 11.6 pounds and my current weight down to 312 pounds. God is good!
• I'd like to be under 300 pounds before Thanksgiving. I think that's doable at a healthy pace.
• Joseph and I decided we will be rewarded with $10 cash each time we lose 10 pounds. We can spend it immediately or save it to buy something more expensive. I'm buying sunglasses today. :O)

As promised, here's the first set of comparison photos. I'll post them every 10 pounds. I can't tell a difference. Because of my size, I think I'll need to lose about 30 pounds before there is noticeable change. That's OK. Thank you for all of your prayers and encouragement!

Week 2 Weigh In

Reasons to Give God Glory

1. God is changing my heart through this process. He is answering prayers, and I adore Him for it.
2. I exercised 6 out of the last 7 days (my goal was 3), and I actually wanted to exercise. I didn't go into it each day with a grumbling spirit. (See #1.)
3. God has provided people to encourage me along the way, including those of you who take the time to read this blog. Thank you for reading!
4. This past weekend was filled with events over which I had little to no control over the food. I was very nervous about that, and I tried my best to plan accordingly. Friday night, I went overboard. Buffalo chicken dip was present, and I have a weakness for buffalo chicken dip. I'm salivating a little as I type this, because there aren't many things in this world that taste better than buffalo chicken dip. I should probably stop writing about buffalo chicken dip now. Rather than beating myself up about going overboard, I chose to walk in grace and move on. Saturday, I did better. I was so nervous about going overboard again that I actually had calories left over at the end of the day. I could have enjoyed another piece of pizza (Two Guys Pizza in Simpsonville has delicious cheese pizza!), but I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I chose to walk in the self control God has given me rather than strolling down the well-worn path of overeating. I'd like to mention that the My Fitness Pal app made it easy to log what I was eating and know whether or not I was staying on track.
5. I'm learning to plan ahead and make sure to exercise on days when I know there will be something I want to eat that may not fit well into my allotted calories for the day. Thursday was a great example of this. Moe's had their annual Free Queso Day, and I had been looking forward to it for weeks. I wasn't sure if I could handle it though. I have a weakness for queso. It's probably a stronger weakness (ha!) than my weakness for buffalo chicken dip. Queso. Buffalo chicken dip. I'm going to go grab an apple before things get out of control over here. Anywho, I wrestled for a couple of days over whether or not I should participate in Free Queso Day. Guys, it's a whole cup of queso-y goodness. With chips. As much as I love queso, I do not eat it with a spoon. Usually. A cup of queso plus chips is a lot of calories (820 calories for a cup of queso and one side of chips from Moe's, and one side of chips is not enough for a cup of queso). So, after I exercised for 30 minutes, Joseph and I talked it over, and we used Moe's wonderful nutrition calculator, and we strategized. Rather than each purchasing an entree and each receiving a free cup of queso, we made a plan to purchase one entree and split both the entree and the queso. It was perfect! I got queso, and I didn't overeat. I wasn't stuffed, and I still got queso. I enjoyed an evening with my husband and our best friends, and I enjoyed queso. God is good. Amen.
6. I lost another 3 pounds, bringing my total weight lost up to 8.1 pounds and my current weight down to 315.5 pounds. If I could give God a giant hug and squish His cheeks, I would. I'm hoping the smile that beamed from my face and the joy that filled my heart this morning and the praise that eeked out of my lips sufficed until I can run into His arms in Heaven one day. Run. Me? Maybe one day! With my sweet Savior at my side, anything is possible.

Areas Where I Need Prayer

• I want to continue on this journey with pure motives. I want to do this out of a heart that loves the Lord and wants to honor Him. Please pray I don't exchange the idols of food and comfort for idols of dieting, exercising, checking My Fitness Pal, longing for comments on my blog, vanity, pride, etc.
• I'm struggling with drinking enough water each day. It isn't that I don't like water or I'm drinking alternate beverages (that's what our doctor calls sodas - cute, huh?). It's just that I don't drink much at all on a given day anyway. That needs to change if I want to make progress.
• Pray I don't get bored on the journey. I have a tendency to get bored with things quickly. I really don't want that to happen.
• Pray I will encourage Husby along the way. I don't want to brush him aside in this pursuit.
• Pray my love for the Lord grows deeper and stronger each day as I learn to depend on Him, as I look to Him to satisfy the cravings in my heart.

YOU

How can I be praying for you over the next week? What is God doing in your life? Even if you don't struggle with the same idols and sins as I do, is God breaking through to you about something? Are you falling more in love with Him through the process? I'd love to hear from you!

The Battle Isn't Over Donuts

"If you love Me, you will keep My commands." ~ John 14:15

One day, about a week ago, I was very hungry on my way home from school. That's a 30-45 minute drive, which is a long time to be focused on being hungry. About 10 minutes in to my drive, I turned into Dunkin Donuts. I wanted blueberry munchkins (so delicious). They were out of them, so I settled on two glazed donuts.

I ate the first donut pretty quickly. As I bit into the second donut, a battle started within me. It went something like this:

"Do you love Me?"

"Yes, of course."

"Do you really love Me?"

"Yes, I really love You."

"More than that donut?"

"Of course, but I still want to eat this donut."

"Is that the obedient thing to do?"

"Um ... I really want this donut."

(Please keep in mind that I was eating this donut during the entire battle. Battles of the spiritual nature don't require hands, and I only needed one hand on the steering wheel.)

"Do you want to be obedient to Me more than you want that donut?"

".......................................... Sigh ............................ Yes."

I didn't finish the donut.

I threw the rest of it away when I arrived at home.

For me, this battle isn't over donuts. This is a spiritual battle. This is a matter of conforming my will to My Father's will, a matter of being obedient. 

You know what? The cool thing is that Jesus already won the victory over sin. I just need to walk in that victory. I wasn't walking in victory as I bit into the second donut, but I was when I put down the 3/8 of the donut that was left. I don't say that pridefully. I say that to brag on my Savior, because I LOVE donuts. "They're my one true weakness" (Larkrise to Candleford - watch it). The power of the Holy Spirit is the only thing that will help me put down a donut (or not go to Dunkin Donuts in the first place). 

I'm excited to watch the Holy Spirit at work in my life. How is He at work in yours?

Week 1 Weigh In

So I made it through my first week. I didn't even realize I was really jumping into this until a few days had gone by.  I'll try to sum up some things for you without you having to read a lot. I'll use bullet points to assist.

• I decided to exercise on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I have no good excuses on those days, because I only have school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So far, I've exercised four times. That may be more than I've exercised all year. 
• I've been using Walk Away the Pounds to exercise. I'll post about those videos one day. They're great for someone like me. And they're paid for (well, for me they are; if you don't own them already, they aren't).
• My eating has been hit or miss. I've been logging it semi-consistently on My Fitness Pal. If I blew it at dinner, I didn't log it. I'll start doing better.
• I really like My Fitness Pal, even more than I liked it before. If you want to be friends on MFP, look me up. My user name is chubbychelle. Just mention my blog, and I'll accept your request.
• The book Made to Crave is on its way to me. I'm looking forward to reading it.
• I've taken the stairs the last three times I've been to school. They hurt. I'm out of breath when I get to the top. I've been doing it anyway. But then I gave into peer pressure and took the elevator at church last night. Just being honest. Want to know what the peer pressure sounded like? "Going up?" Me: "Yep!" If any of your children are as weak as I am, please talk to them about drugs and peer pressure and stuff. Today. Seriously. Why are you still reading?
• I actually sort of meal planned for us yesterday, and we actually bought groceries. I'm excited to try four new recipes this week. They're at least a responsible amount of calories per serving, so if they're yummy, I'll share them with you. 
• I lost 5.1 pounds this week. 

After I posted last week, I kept thinking about "aha" moments and making this stick. And I kept thinking about my sin and God's grace. I thought about a lot of things. I think I'm arriving at a point where I know I just have to do this. I have to be obedient. Because God loves me so much and has been so gracious to me, I want to show my love to Him through obedience to Him. Sitting around and waiting for an "aha" moment was me just sitting around in my sin getting fatter and harder of heart (probably both spiritually and physically). 

He loves me in all of my 300+ pounds of fatty grossness, because I'm His. He's going to love me through all of my failings in this area, because I'm bought by a price, the blood of His precious Son. 

He loves you, too. Wherever you are. Is He calling you to be obedient in an area of your life? It may not be weight loss. It may be your finances or your tongue or how many hours a day you play Candy Crush (I picked things I'm struggling with so we could all still be friends at the end of this post). Whatever it is, talk to Him about it. He's a great listener. If you're a believer, ask God to help you walk in the grace, the self-control, the peace, the joy He's already given you as His child. He'll do it.

For anyone who is curious, here's what I looked like last Wednesday. I didn't take a picture today, because I still look like this. My plan is to take pictures every 10 pounds lost. Hopefully, I'll have another set of pictures for you in 2-3 weeks. Thanks for reading!

Side note: If you see me standing with my ankles rolled like that, please tell me to stop. Thanks!

Why Hasn't it Clicked for Me?

Why hasn't it - this weight loss thing - clicked for me?

I have tried losing weight off and on since I was eight years old, and I am now thirty-two.

And it hasn't clicked.

Sure, I have had success in the past. I can think of two times in my life that were the most successful.

The first was when I was in seventh grade, and my mom surprise attacked me with Weight Watchers. To the best of my recollection, she didn't tell me I was starting Weight Watchers until we were on our way to my first meeting. To say I was angry would be an understatement. A big understatement. I lost 13 pounds the first week. Would anyone else like to have the metabolism of a seventh grader again? I think my total weight loss was around 40 pounds, and I was still about 30 pounds overweight. The program stopped working for me when my mom stopped doing the bulk of the leg work for me. (That's not me blaming my mom, just stating a fact.)

The second time I was successful was when I was 23. I was using diet pills, and I had a ton of free time during the day. I used that free time to spend two hours at a time on a treadmill. Also, I don't recall eating a wide variety of food. Frozen chicken breasts were in my budget, and they were easy to cook on a George Foreman grill. I lost 25 pounds, and I was still about 70+ pounds overweight. I stopped losing weight when my gym shut down unexpectedly and I stopped taking pills.

Now I'm 32, and I am 189 pounds overweight (I only weighed a little over 189 pounds after I lost those 25 pounds when I was 23 - a thought that just made me nauseated and teary-eyed). As of this morning, I weigh 323.6 pounds. I have gained 26.6 pounds in the last year.

Almost two years ago, I set out with a renewed gusto to lose weight and blog about it. I think I lasted 10 days.

Why didn't it click?

Husby and I went to the doctor back in June, and we were both convicted again that we needed to lose weight. We walked once, and I think we ate a little better for a few days.

Why didn't it click?

As I'm typing this, I know I want to lose weight. I want to lose all 189 pounds of fat that weigh me down each and every day. I exercised this morning and drank a green goddess smoothie (for something that looks like it came out of a diaper, it's pretty tasty). I logged my exercise and my smoothie on My Fitness Pal. I read my blog posts from two years ago and actually felt a little motivated by my own words. I read someone else's blog. Could this be the start of something good?

Maybe.

Yet I fear that it won't click. Again.

So for those of you who have had success, big or small, how did it click for you? I hear regularly about people having "aha!" moments and being wildly successful. I think I've had those moments, but they don't last for me. How did you make yours last?

I'm not trying to sound whiney. I guess I just feel a little vulnerable right now, and I want to know how to make it click this time. I'm humble before the Lord, and I'm humble before you, asking for help.